I have been doing a lot of thinking about this particular subject over the past few weeks. Spent plenty of time thinking about what I want in a relationship, what I am willing to give, and even what I feel like I deserve. I have had plenty of relationship experience to allow myself to be pretty confident that I am no longer going to settle for "mediocre" and am more than capable and deserving of the "extraordinary"
In general I love easily and care deeply and am usually pretty open about that. The problem is, I am exhausted from useless, one-sided loving. I am tired of giving and not receiving, caring and not being cared for, and wanting and not being wanted. I know that without truly knowing what all of these things feel like, I would not know the part of all of that that I am missing and I am grateful for the relationships that have taught me the difference.
But I am done with those types of relationships.
So, here's to the stronger, more capable, more deserving me! To the me that will no longer settle for making all of the effort and doing all of the caring. When I feel the love I will give the love and when I have the reason to smile I will return the reason to smile. This may take days, weeks, months or years, but I will wait...because in the end LOVE is what makes the world go round... or something like that. Right?!
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